5 Easy Exercises To Improve Your Approaches And Your Attitude
The Power of Attiude
Our attitude and more importantly our belief in our ability can make or break our approaches.
It affects everything we do before, during and after approaching a woman. From the thoughts we think, the words we speak and the way we feel afterwards - it all boils down to attitude and belief.
Say waking up is hard for you. You think waking up is difficult, challenging or even painful. You feel the emotions and sensations behind these emotions. As a result, you feel sluggish and dread of the next workday.
How do you feel about approaching: is it something you do naturally or something that scares your liver loose?
Fight for your right... to make the approach. Boldly.
If you find approaching a woman nerve-wracking, then you'll struggle with your fear of doing it. The same goes for sexual escalation. When it's time to get her number or go for the kiss, your fear and poor attitude will lock you up and take you out of your element.
Instead, focus on the value that you bring to the table and the engaging, dynamic person that you are.
Think about times people responded well to what you said and laughed at your jokes. You are the life of the party, and you bring the party with you.
Think about what it means to be a more engaging person. It means you're more focused and present in the moment. Imagine Larry King doing an interview - he's right there with his guest, firing away with the next question.
You bring value to the conversation and focus your attention on the other person. Your mind is focused on the moment and not on how hard it is to approach:
#1 Behaving dynamically, not passively.
Look people in the eye when talking to them. Practice taking interest in the details of their lives, ask questions that extend the conversation rather than end it. Lock eyes with strangers that you pass on the street, then start smiling with your eyes when you begin regularly catch their glance.
#2 Turning that mental frown upside down.
Release the anxiety about making it happen with all the attractive women out there. Let go of any outcomes and let one moment unfold into the next. Our expectations rarely pan out exact as we planned, and they put pressure on us to perform.
With practice, letting go of outcomes and expectations becomes easier. You become more attentive and aware of the social dynamics in a conversation. You can feel another person's response to you. You adapt to the situation more quickly because your mind is focused on engaging.
#3 Listing out new habits.
Write out a list of how you can be more present and dynamic, then pick one or two to practice everyday.
Sample list:
a. Speak in strong (and varying) vocal tones .
b. Hold eye contact in conversation without glancing away.
c. Remain still in conversation without fidgeting.
d. Practice being comfortable with silences in a conversation.e. Remain calm around hot girls. yes. you. don't put her on a pedestal.
Being calm and confident around hot girls requires that you do everything else on that list, so keep the last one in mind.
#4 Accept rejection cheerfully and gracefully.
This one deserves 5 exercises of its own. If an approach doesn't work out, remember:
a. She's not trying to embarrass you.
b. You are getting valuable feedback to help with your next approach (you are always learning from your mistakes).
c. Not all women respond poorly to you.
d. Her response says nothing about your ability or personality.e. She is a human being and will respond in unpredictable ways (both good and bad).
Learn to take it easy on yourself and not take things personally. Distance reject from who you are and look at how it reflects on your skillset. What is the one thing you can learn from a mistake and apply to do improve the next time?
#5 Remembeing that the glass is half full.
Finally, remember the glass is half-full. It's easier to focus on what you have rather than what you do not:
a. You are consistently improving your social skillset just by trying.b. Any progress is progress - don't take away from it. If you get a smile or a look, that is success. Celebrate your successes.c. There are women out there who dig who you are, right now.
If you remember and apply the last one, then it'll always be true because it'll become self-fulfilling.